How Travel & Moving Abroad Alone Helped Me Live Deliberately and Build Inner Strength

People often ask me, "Weren’t you scared to move to China by yourself?" or "How did you even go about planning to move to Mexico in the 90s without the internet?" “When did ‘living deliberately today’ become part of the equation for you in your life -  isn’t that from the poem in Dead Poets Society?

And the honest answer? Living deliberately wasn’t what I set out to do. It became more of a series of choices that taught me how to live differently. The truth is, I was not brave at all. I was absolutely terrified—but I did it anyway.

From the painted streets of San Miguel de Allende, the winding paths near Rome’s Gianicolo Hill, to the sensory overload of frenetic Beijing, to late afternoons sipping coffee in Buenos Aires’ Belgrano area and now figuring out life in a culture enaoured with order and perfection here in Munich—my life abroad hasn’t been simple or polished. But it’s been deeply mine. The life. Lessons. Gains. Losses. There is no such thing as perfection, and living intentionally and authentically has its own ups and downs, like everything.

When I first left Minnesota at 20 to move to Mexico in 1998, I thought I was just escaping a heavy, burdensome life that was miserable. There was no living happening, let alone living deliberately. Looking back, a part of me probably was. This might sound odd since I’m proud to be from Minnesota, but I never belonged there long term. I read a quote Bob Dylan (who’s from Hibbing, Minnesota, in case you’re wondering) that sums up what I felt too:

“I didn’t run away from it; I just turned my back on it. It couldn’t give me anything. It was very void-like. So leaving wasn’t hard at all — it would have been much harder to stay,” Bob Dylan.

However, I realize now that that journey marked the beginning of learning how to really live with myself, not just survive, but lead myself while being myself. I had become so suffocated in an environment where I wasn’t growing, wasn’t inspired, everyone in authority treated me like I had already ruined my life and I was only 19.  I didn’t know what I was searching for back then. I just knew I didn’t want the life I was in. Somewhere deep down, I believed there had to be more.

And honestly? I was scared out of my mind. But I was right to follow that pull.

Living Abroad Isn’t Always About Escape—It Was Becoming Who I Was Meant to Be

Growing up in Minnesota, I felt like I was disappearing. My family broke apart. I lost my sense of self. I got depressed, checked out, and stopped trying. I went from being an honors student to barely making it through high school. My parents did their best I’m sure but instead of seeing the obvious they decided to punish me instead and I became determined to self-sabotage and fuck up everything. I even stopped believing in myself because it didn’t feel like anyone else did.

“If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving a new one,” Dolly Parton.

So when I say that travel saved me, I don’t mean Instagram palm trees and pretty photos. I mean that solo travel helped me shed the weight of who I was told to be and start building a life deliberately - on purpose- that felt like mine.

Being in a new place, completely on your own, where no one knows your name? Every decision becomes intentional. What you eat, where you go, who you become—it’s all on you. That kind of responsibility is scary, sure. But it’s also the fastest path to discovering strength you didn’t know you had. Mexico was a breath of fresh air and it was my deliberate choice. Of freedom. Of happiness. People were lively. Grateful. They danced. They sang. They were generous. I was learning Spanish, seeing my improvement, learning to be myself in another language, while feeling encouraged and supported by new people around me was priceless. I felt myself growing inside and improving. It was awesome.

Of course, not everything is perfect living abroad just because you deliberately made the decision to move. The sense of purpose and accomplishment is amazing, but let’s mention a few other things that aren’t so cool. Visa appointments in unfamiliar languages, getting scolded in another language, nearly getting deported because your company didn’t apply for your visa early enough. Dealing with bureaucracy. Getting lost everywhere before Google Maps existed, only to have it get blocked later in China by the government. Having to figure things out with hand gestures, funny sounds like: “chugga chugga chugga choo chooo” and hope. Each of those moments taught me how to trust myself when things didn’t go as planned—and they rarely did.

When No One Can Save You, You Learn to Show Up for Yourself

I’ll be honest: Lordy, I have cried. Multiple times. At 20 years old, upon arrival to my guesthouse with a very nice family in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, the father of the house was a very nice man who showed me to my room). In China, I arrived my room after a 4 hour drive from Shanghai to a small town in the middle of Zhejiang Province. No phone. No internet. No way to talk to anyone. Alone.

Sitting on unfamiliar beds in my new ‘home’, in cities where I didn’t know a soul and couldn’t speak the language, thinking: “What TF did I just do?”

But those were the moments that shaped me most. I had to move forward. I had no option. And those 2 moves have shaped my self-belief that I will always figure it out. Those 2 decisions were the best decisions I made for myself.

Like the time I got lost in a massive, massive National park in Anshun, China, because I got off at the wrong bus stop and a local mom and her daughter gently helped me find my way again. Or the time I was stranded in Peru with no food during a road blockade and had to eat from a questionable roadside cart because we had no other options. The lady used her hand to scoop out some food onto a plate that was barely washed, except that it had been dunked in a very chunky, murky bucket of water.

And then there were the quiet mornings in Rome, walking to class around Gianicolo overlooking the city under the early morning sun, when everything clicked for a moment and I felt so completely present, alive, and deeply aligned. In those moments, I thought to myself, ‘Life is awesome’.  (Believe me, there were other times I did not think that but overall it’s been my journey and I wouldn’t trade it)

That’s the kind of confidence solo travel builds: not loud or boastful, but rooted. It’s not about being fearless. It’s about realizing you can handle whatever comes.

Living Deliberately Doesn’t Always Look Logical

Over the years, people have questioned my choices to move again and again. "How are you going to have a career abroad?" "Don’t you miss the home in the US?"

The truth is, I love visiting the US, but I don’t want to live there. Plus, I’ve been told by enough American right-wingers that ‘if I don’t like it, I can stay out’, so I’d rather stay here in Europe, where I don’t encounter these kinds of conversations.

Yes, sometimes it’s lonely. But it’s also full of wisdom and experience on purpose. I’ve made lifelong friends. I’ve learned how to be with myself in ways I never imagined. And most of all, I’ve built a life that’s aligned, even when it hasn’t made sense to anyone else.

Living deliberately means deciding that your life is allowed to look different. That’s what authenticity is. Your story doesn’t need to match anyone else’s timeline. That your happiness isn’t up for public approval.

Being the Outsider Teaches You How to Connect Differently

There’s something incredibly humbling about being the newcomer. Or not knowing how to speak the local language yet. It forces you to observe, listen, and communicate beyond words. It makes you flexible as well, since you can’t be upset they didn’t get your order right when you couldn’t explain it!

I’ve learned to read people’s tone, energy, and body language. I’ve had to step back and really watch before stepping forward. And honestly? That skill has made me a better coach, a better listener, and a more emotionally aware human. In all honesty, being the outsider, especially in China, meant that I made friends with people from China and all over the world. I realized how similar people really are at the end of the day. Everyone worries when they’re dad gets sick, sibling rivalry is a real thing, so is birth order and responsibility, and of course, societal expectations.

Trying to rent an apartment in Germany taught me more about being assertive and emotionally regulating than any personal development book. Learning how to manage being misunderstood and get yelled at or plain shut down—and still advocate for yourself—is one of the most empowering lessons you can master.

Emotional Strength Isn’t Born—It’s Built Getting Back Up After Defeats

I used to believe confidence was something people either had or didn’t when they lived abroad. Turns out, it’s built in moments of uncertainty. Resilience isn’t something you’re born with. It’s the result of showing up again and again, even when you’d rather hide.

When you live far from home, with no one around to rescue you from your own thoughts, you learn to befriend them instead. You learn what soothes you, what pushes your buttons, and how to come back to yourself when you lose your center.

This is the exact emotional work I guide my clients through with EFT tapping now. But before it became my profession, travel and living abroad were my first classrooms. It gave me the foundations to self-regulate, reset, and respond instead of react. And most of all, to keep a good attitude no matter what. If you allow your emotional state to take over completely and react to everything, you will be stuck and unable to move forward.

Living Abroad Isn’t a Distraction—It’s Real Life

Some people assume living in another country is a break from reality. I can assure you that it’s not a vacation. You still have bills, responsibilities, etc., plus the added headache of visas and bureaucracy, which aren’t very glamorous.  People tend to gloss over those things like that and only talk about sipping coffee in Paris, unburdened by life.. Of course, the truth is every life has positives and negatives so there is no perfect life. I’m sure even those digital nomad influencers you see in their majestic pool hotels in Greece have negatives you don’t know about.

Sure, everyone’s life looks glamorous on social media, but living abroad in another country comes with its own challenges. But you learn to adapt, prioritize, and align your life with my values.

Living on a tight budget or in a small space (or out of your suitcase if you’re a digital nomad) teaches you what really matters. So does living in an apartment with other people and all your earthly possessions need to fit in a 20sq2 space! Once you move a few times to different countries, you stop buying a lot of things you don’t need. You learn to say no to the shiny distractions and yes to what feels more meaningful. I may not have material riches like fancy handbags or cars but I measure value in my life in experience, alignment, and peace, not stuff. At least I won’t wake up one day and fear that I didn’t do enough, see and experience my life while it was happening..

And that’s what living deliberately means to me: intention and authenticity in every part of your life. Your business. Your relationships. Your choices.

You stop asking, “Is this normal?” and start asking, “Is this right for me?”

Final Thoughts on Living Deliberately Abroad

You might be reading this because something inside you has been whispering for more. Maybe you've been dreaming about moving abroad, starting fresh somewhere new, experiencing life in a different culture, but fear keeps holding you back.

Fear of failing. Fear you won’t like it. Fear of being alone. Of being misunderstood. Of regretting the leap.

But here’s the truth: some of the greatest regrets people carry aren’t about what they did—they’re about what they didn’t do.

One of the most common regrets of the dying is this: "I wish I had lived a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me." And that hits hard.

The women I work with often stand at this exact edge. They’re ambitious, self-aware, and craving a bigger, more meaningful life—but they’re terrified of making the wrong move. I see you. And I want you to know this: you don’t have to feel fearless to take the next step. You just have to be willing to be brave for one more moment than you're scared.

Moving abroad won’t magically fix everything. But it will teach you more about yourself than any comfort zone ever could. It’s not just about where you go—it’s about who you become when you choose your own path.

And maybe the woman on the other side of that decision? She’s not a fantasy. She’s you—living in alignment, living deliberately, and living fully. And she’s waiting.

   ANDREA HUNT - Transformational Life Coach & EFT Tapping Practitioner based in Munich, Germany

As an Accredited Transformational Coach (Animas Centre UK) and Certified EFT Practitioner (AEFTP), I help you overcome low self-worth, imposter syndrome, and limiting beliefs using powerful EFT Tapping and coaching. Ready to transform your emotional health and boost your confidence?

If you’re curious about EFT Tapping and how it can enhance your emotional resilience while addressing issues like low self-worth, perfectionism, and negative self-talk, download my FREE EFT book!  ➡️ https://bit.ly/4e672x7

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