They'll call you reckless. They'll call you impulsive. They’ll say it’s a stupid idea. They’ll say it’s dangerous. They'll project their fears onto you. But here's what they won't tell you about traveling solo post-heartbreak.
When I told my friends I was booking a one way ticket to China right after my breakup (8 year relationship!), the reactions were... mixed. Some thought I was being brave. Others looked at me blankly as in: “yes, that’s insane, but I’m not surprised”. Or “China? Seriously? That sounds dangerous!” Others thought I was running away. A few outright told me I was making a huge mistake. And you know what? Maybe some of them were right. But not for the reasons they thought.
Solo travel after a breakup isn't the glamorous healing journey Instagram makes it look like. It's messy. It's uncomfortable. It's raw. It’s confronting. But it's also one of the most honest, transformative things you can do for yourself. So before you book that one-way ticket while ugly-crying at 2am (we've all been there), here are the brutal truths nobody warns you about.
TRUTHBOMB #1: People Will Say It’s a Dumb Idea (And Project Their Fears Onto You)
The minute you announce you're traveling solo after a breakup, everyone becomes a self-appointed expert on your healing journey. And most of them have never even left their city limits.
"Isn't that dangerous?"
"You're just running away from your problems."
"Maybe you should just stay home and heal first."
Thanks, but it’s my time to heal and I will figure this out on my own. Here's what's really happening: they're scared. They're projecting their own fears and limitations onto your decision. The same people who've never traveled solo to another city will suddenly become travel safety experts. The ones who couldn't imagine doing something so brave will call it reckless. Since I’m American, I should mention that even though the US beats many countries in gun deaths and violent crime, US Mainstream Media will have you believe that anywhere else is way more dangerous. Think: US terror threat levels. Wasn’t the US itself on orange for like 5 years at one point?
And sadly, not everyone is going to be happy for you. Some will be jealous that you had the courage they don't. Others genuinely believe their fears and worries are facts. But their opinions say more about them than they do about your decision. The people meant for this version of you will celebrate your courage. The ones who aren't will try to dim your light.
And that's a truth that stings...but it's also incredibly freeing.
TRUTHBOMB #2: This Is NOT the Time to "Wing It" (Sorry, Not Sorry)
I know, I know. The romanticized version of post-breakup travel involves spontaneously booking flights, showing up in a new city with no plans, meeting some stranger who invites you to go visit his family in the Tuscan countryside and letting the universe guide you. It sounds nice in movies and I’m not telling you to plan every second of your day but in practice it’s not always a good idea.
If you want to fly by the seat of your pants after a breakup be my guest. However, in my opinion, this is not the time. Sure, be spontaneous with activities, book hostels or hotels in advance that you can cancel a few days before without being charged. Book a few hotels and cancel the ones you don’t need if you want more flexibility.
“This is not the wing it. But here's the harsh reality: your heart is already confused. Your emotions are already a mess. Breakups can make us scatter brained, easily confused, overlook details, forget to pack a charger, etc. Do NOT add to that chaos by trying to navigate a foreign city at 2am spontaneously with a dead phone and no place to stay.” - Andrea
You're going to make mistakes—that's part of healing. But planning more to stay safe is non-negotiable. The universe doesn't owe you mercy just because you're heartbroken.
Smart planning includes:
- Researching safe neighborhoods and booking accommodations in advance so you can be safe and comfortable.
- Arranging your transportation to avoid arriving late at night after an international flight
- Having money in credit cards, debit cards, and some emergency money in cash
- Sharing your location and itinerary with someone you trust and checking in with people
- Have money belts, padlocks, and put your money in several locations
Being brave doesn't mean being reckless. It means being smart enough to protect yourself while you heal.
Want to make sure you're actually ready? Stay tuned for my free guide: "10 Ways to Know You're Ready for Solo Travel After a Breakup" to assess your readiness and plan smarter, not harder.
TRUTHBOMB #3: You Will Cry. Probably A Lot. Even After Amazing Days.
So I’m not gonna lie. Whether you’re at home or in a new place, there you are and you can’t run from yourself. Even though travel and really help you heal, find yourself, empower yourself. But everyone is different. You might find yourself crying in a hotel shower after having the most incredible day exploring a new city. You could be watching the most beautiful sunset of your life and suddenly feel a sinking feeling and feel tears on your face. You might feel lonely crying alone and for some people this would be alot to handle. (See my ebook on 10 signs to know if you’re ready to solo travel alone after a breakup’)
That's the thing about heartbreak and grief: it doesn't care that you just had an amazing day. It doesn't care that you're experiencing something beautiful. It shows up anyway because the only way to process something is to move through it. If you’re trying to process the pain and ache, see my other articles on EFT Tapping for Breakups and how it helped me to heal and regain confidence, while healing old wounds.
You'll have moments where you think, "This would be better if they were here." You'll see couples holding hands and feel that familiar ache in your chest. You'll find yourself reaching for your phone to share something with them before remembering they're not yours to share with anymore.
And this is part of the healing.
Thing is, please is to remember that it's not a sign you're doing it wrong. It's not a sign you shouldn't have gone. It's your heart learning to exist in spaces that used to include them. One day, you won't cry in the shower. One day, you won't think "this would be better with them." One day, it just won't hurt anymore. But until that day comes, let yourself feel it all. The joy and the grief can coexist. In fact, they have to so you can process and let it go. It’s too easy to avoid your feelings, fall into unhealthy patterns, jump into a rebound
TRUTHBOMB #4: You Don't Need Those Extra Outfits (Put. The. Suitcase. Down.)
Listen. I know you think you need seven different outfit options for every possible scenario. I know you're packing that "just in case" dress and those shoes you'll "definitely wear." And your trombon. And inflatable raft.. 10 pairs of shoes. Toiletries to last months when you’re only going for 2 weeks.
You don't.
You're already carrying emotional baggage. Don't add literal baggage on top of it. Picture this: You're heartbroken, jet-lagged, and trying to navigate cobblestone streets in a foreign city while lugging three suitcases uphill because you "needed options." It's insult to injury. It's adding unnecessary stress to an already vulnerable time.
Pack light. You need mobility and freedom, not a fashion show. You're going to wear the same five comfortable things anyway—and that's perfectly fine. In fact, it's liberating. Every extra item you pack is something else to worry about, carry, and keep track of when your mind is already overwhelmed. Strip it down. Keep it simple. Your future self will thank you.
TRUTHBOMB #5: Some Days You'll Wonder If You Made a Huge Mistake
There will be moments—maybe even entire days—where you sit in your hotel room and think, "What am I doing here alone?" Not gonna lie, when I moved to China in 2006, I arrived to my teacher’s dorm and cried (got a teaching job for a year in Zhejiang). I didn’t have a SIM card yet for my old Nokia, had no internet in my flat yet, and I couldn’t talk to anyone and it was quiet and I couldn’t see where I was coming into town and it felt suddenly overwhelming like: Shit. NOW what have you done, Andrea?!
...I cried myself to sleep . So yeah, Day 1 was rough. However, for most places when you’re travel your SIM card will work or you can now get an eSIM.
For some people, eating dinner solo the first few times is awkward. I worked in many restaurants and on break you rarely have anyone to eat with so that wasn’t a big deal for me. But on vacation in Sicily I was in an incredible cave restaurant in Catania and everyone was staring at me like: poverina!! They even asked me if I wanted to join them! Nowadays, you know I probably would but my Italian wasn’t that good then and I was tired and just wanted to read my book.
I know alot of people who cite going out to eat as one of their biggest reasons for not wanting to travel alone. Because everyone else seemed to be with someone, families laughing and talking, and they think they’ll be there with your book or phone, trying to look like they’re totally fine being alone. They’re super concerned they’ll look stupid or people will stare. (Spoiler: honestly, nobody cares. People have their own lives and problems and they are hopefully more interested in their dinner date than what you’re doing. It gets easier. Much easier. But those first few meals? If you’re new at it, could be rough.)
You might even have moments of intense loneliness in crowded places like you’re in a movie where you’re standing still and all the people are walking by around you like in the Matrix. I remember walking around Buenos Aires in the rain listening to Social Distortion like some sad movie scene where the hero wonders where it all went wrong. It’s a weird feeling of being SO grateful to be someplace and yet heartbroken. There are times where you might question if you should have just stayed home, ordered takeout, and wallowed in your feelings like a normal person. The way I see it, either way you’re going to have that heartache and pain so you might as well try to grow through it to get on the other side instead of stuffing it down and marinating in all the same feelings, places, reminders of what happened.
But here's what people don’t talk about enough: discomfort is where growth lives. And I’m sure everyone can agree breakups are outside your comfort zone so why not add positive experiences to help you heal through it in the meantime?
Those moments pass. The awkwardness fades. And what's on the other side is a version of you who can sit alone in a restaurant in a foreign country and genuinely enjoy your own company. That's power. That's healing. And it's worth every uncomfortable moment.
TRUTHBOMB #6: You'll Meet Others Who Get It
Here's something people who don't travel solo don't realize: SO many people travel alone these days. It's not weird. It's not unusual. You're not going to stand out as some tragic figure with a neon sign that says "HEARTBROKEN." Most people won't even ask why you're traveling—solo travel is completely normal now. And if someone does ask? "Wanted to explore" or "had some time off" works perfectly fine.
But here's the beautiful part: sometimes you'll meet other travelers who are on their own post-breakup journey.
You might end up spending a few days exploring with someone who just went through something similar. Maybe it's a conversation over wine where you both realize you're processing the same kind of heartbreak. Maybe you end up hiking together or sharing meals, and there's this unspoken understanding.
These connections can be incredibly healing because—and this is the truth nobody tells you—not everyone wants to hear about your breakup. Including friends and family. They love you, but they're tired of the topic. They want you to "move on already."
But another traveler who's going through it? They have the emotional bandwidth. They get it. There's no judgment, no pressure to be "over it," no advice you didn't ask for. Just two people processing their grief in a new place, and somehow that makes it easier.
Maybe you don’t feel like talkimg about it at all but sometimes when you choose to share it with the right person at the right time? That can be magic.
TRUTHBOMB #7: You'll See the Relationship More Clearly From a Distance
Distance has a funny way of bringing things into focus. When you're in it—when you're in the same city, the same routines, the same spaces you shared, it's hard to see the relationship objectively. Everything is clouded by emotion, by hope, by the daily reminders of what you lost.
But when you're thousands of miles away, sitting in a cafe in a city they've never been to, something shifts. You start remembering things differently. Not just the good moments you've been romanticizing, but the real ones. The patterns you ignored. The compromises that didn't feel like compromises at the time but actually cost you pieces of yourself. The red flags you explained away because you wanted it to work so badly.
You might realize you were doing most of the emotional labor. Or that you'd been walking on eggshells more than you admitted. Or that you'd made yourself smaller to fit into their life.
And sometimes, in a random moment—watching a sunset or eating lunch alone—you'll think: "In the end, maybe this is how it was supposed to be..."
Not in a bitter way. Not in a vengeful way. Just... honestly. Clearly. You'll see that the relationship wasn't as perfect as your heartbroken brain has been telling you. You'll remember why it ended. You'll recognize that staying would have meant losing more of yourself.
Distance gives you perspective that's impossible to have when you're still living in the shadow of what was. It lets you see the relationship for what it actually was—not what you hoped it would become. And that clarity? That's when real healing begins.
TRUTHBOMB #8: Your Ex Will Probably Cross Your Mind in Random Moments
You'll see that cafe you know they would've loved or a dish that’s their favorite. You'll hear a joke they would've laughed at. You'll witness a view you would've shared. A song comes on that reminds you of them... And for a moment, they're there—not physically, but in your thoughts, in the ghost of what could have been.
This doesn't mean you're not healing. It doesn't mean the trip isn't working. Always remember that healing is not linear. Sometimes you’ll be fine for a week. Then you might have a messy breakdown after having one glass too many of wine. It just means you're human, and they were part of your life, and brains don't have an off switch for people we once loved. But here's the beautiful part: those thoughts WILL come less and less as long as you allow yourself to process. My personal opinion is that the longer you supress your feelings or pretend they’re not there, the longer it takes you to heal. The space between them grows wider. And one day, you'll go an entire day without thinking of them at all—and you won't even notice until later.
Healing isn't about never thinking of them again. It's about those thoughts losing their power over you.
TRUTHBOMB #9: Solo Travel Won't "Fix" You (And That's Okay)
This isn't Eat, Pray, Love. You're not going to step off a plane in Bali and become a completely transformed person overnight. You're not going to meditate on a mountaintop and suddenly have all the answers. The messy parts of you? They're coming along for the ride. The insecurities, the fears, the patterns—they don't magically disappear just because you changed your location.
But here's what does happen:
You learn who you are without them. You discover what you're capable of when you're forced to figure things out alone. You realize that you can handle uncertainty, navigate challenges, and create joy for yourself. That's not a magical transformation. It's something better—it's earned growth. It's the slow, unglamorous work of becoming more yourself.
And that's infinitely more valuable than any Instagram-worthy epiphany.
TRUTHBOMB #10: You'll Discover You're Way More Capable Than You Thought
Here's what nobody tells you about solo travel after a breakup: you'll be forced to figure shit out on your own. And that's exactly what makes it so powerful. Your phone dies and you don't have directions? You figure it out. You miss your train? You find another way. You can't communicate in the local language? You make it work. Something goes wrong with your accommodation? You handle it.
Every single problem that comes up, you solve. Alone.
And each time you do, something shifts. You stop panicking. You stop waiting for someone to rescue you or tell you what to do. You start trusting yourself. You realize you don't need someone else to navigate life with you. You don't need a partner to feel safe or capable. You can handle uncertainty. You can make decisions. You can take care of yourself.
That's not some fluffy "self-discovery" moment—it's concrete proof that you're capable of managing your own life. When you come home, you carry that with you. Not as some big personality change, but as a quiet knowing: "I can handle being alone. I can figure things out. I'm okay."
And once you know that? Everything changes. Because you're no longer looking for someone to complete you or save you. You're looking for someone who adds to a life you've already built and can manage on your own.
That's power. Real power.
So, Should You Do It?
Solo travel after a breakup is hard. It's messy. It's not always Instagram-worthy. You will have moments of doubt. You will feel lonely sometimes. You will question yourself.
But it's also one of the most honest, transformative things you can do for yourself.
Despite what people say, you ARE ready—as long as YOU feel open to it and you're smart about it. Plan ahead. Protect yourself. Honor both your courage and your vulnerability.
You might come back stronger. You might come back with more clarity about what you want. You might come back knowing you can handle life on your own terms. And that knowledge? That's worth everything.
Ready to Take the Leap?
If you're considering solo travel after a breakup but want to make sure you're ACTUALLY ready (not just acting on impulse at 2am), I've created a free guide to help you assess your readiness.
Stay tuned for my upcoming guide: "10 Ways to Know You're Ready for Solo Travel After a Breakup"
This guide will help you:
- Assess whether you're running toward something or away from something
- Identify the practical and emotional readiness factors
- Create a safety plan that protects your vulnerable state
- Understand the difference between healthy solitude and isolation
- Know when to go and when to wait
Because being brave doesn't mean being unprepared. It means being smart enough to protect yourself while you heal.
Your journey starts when you're ready. Let's make sure that's now.
About Andrea Hunt:
I’m an EFT Tapping Empowerment Coach and I help ambitious professional women reach their goals faster by breaking free from fear, self-doubt, and impostor syndrome so they can build confidence like a muscle—one bold step at a time—and finally step outside their comfort zone to create the life they know they deserve.
Curious about EFT Tapping? Download my FREE EFT book and discover how tapping can enhance emotional resilience, improve mindset, and reduce perfectionism and negative self-talk.
➡️ Get Your Free Ebook Here to Learn the Healing Transformative Power of EFT Tapping https://bit.ly/3U2eHnw
➡️ Book a call with me here! https://bit.ly/4g4cIrD
➡️ Learn more about me: www.dreahunt.com
