How to use EFT Tapping for a Breakup and Why it Helps Your Heart Heal

Breakups are hard. We may feel sad, angry, confused, guilty, ashamed, embarrassed, lonely, depressed, anxious, and even hopeless. But if you've been going through one lately, chances are you might be trying to move on and heal and maybe you're struggling a bit. I get it! Yes, you might have heard about about EFT Tapping for emotional health, anxiety and stress management, and limiting beliefs, but did you know you can ALSO use it for breakups? Read on to learn more..

Why use EFT Tapping for Breakups?

Photo: Dollar Gill

Breakups are hard. They're painful, and confusing, and leave us feeling vulnerable and alone. We may feel sad, angry, confused, guilty, ashamed, embarrassed, lonely, depressed, anxious, and even hopeless.

If you've been going through one lately, chances are you might be trying to move on and heal and maybe you're struggling a bit. I get it! Yes, you've heard me talk about EFT Tapping for emotional health, anxiety and stress management, and limiting beliefs, but did you know you can ALSO use it for breakups?

"Don't be afraid to start over. It’s a brand new opportunity to rebuild what you truly want."

As crappy as it may feel, it's a time to know your worth, understand that starting over can be an incredible new beginning.

Yep. I've even used EFT Tapping (known as the Emotional Freedom Technique) myself to get through all the feelings that come up so you don't carry around that emotional weight and you feel healed and emotionally healthy. Now, I'm not going to lie and tell you I have some magic wand, but it will absolutely help move you forward, tackle the pain, confusion, anger, disappointment, and whatever else you're feeling. You don't really have anything to lose, except gaining self love and feeling better?

In this article, I'll share some tips on how to heal yourself after a breakup using EFT tapping...

But first, here are some good quotes to start with:

"Some things break your heart but fix your vision."
"It’s better to be single with a standard than losing yourself for approval." - Anonymous
"Don’t let someone who isn’t worth your love make you forget how much you are worth."

Effects of Breakups on Our Mental Health

Photo: Mark Pan4ratte

When we experience a breakup, it can affect our physical, psychological, social, spiritual, and financial wellbeing.

It can cause us to lose sleep, sleep too much, eat poorly, drink too much, go out too much, become isolated, or develop hopelessness or depression.

Everyone is totally different and of course, it depends on so many factors: from who left whom, who betrayed whom, who stopped loving whom, you get the picture. The thing is, these effects can last for weeks, months, or years and keep you stuck and miserable if you don't have the emotional tools to manage it.

Thing is, it's pretty hard to feel emotionally resilient after a breakup, isn't it?

We might think about whether we should've been honest with ourselves sooner, or maybe we should've tried harder, communicated more, etc. But no matter how many times we replay those thoughts over and over again, nothing changes.

And while some may try to move on quickly and dive head first into a rebound to try to avoid feeling, that's not really healthy for ourselves or the other person. Sooner or later, those feelings will surface, all at once, or suddenly.

Still, others may spend months or years trying to figure out what went wrong and develop some idea of 'the one who got away'. Your ex is your ex for a reason. The one meant for you won't 'get away'..

The better thing to do is process the emotions as they come up while being honest with yourself, so you can heal. Otherwise, you can develop insecurities or projections you will take with you into the next relationship.

Why do We Need to Deal with the Feelings of a Breakup as Come up?

Photo: sydney Rae

So, firstly, anyone who's been through a break-up knows that ALL SORTS of feelings come up, and we might feel different depending on the day.  

So, what do we do when we're experiencing strong emotions? How do we cope?

We're going to experience emotions. And sometimes those emotions are intense. With breakups, our brain interprets rejection as a threat. It might bring up feelings of unworthiness, an anxious attachment style, etc.

As a result, we become anxious and depressed.

Do we bottle them up inside? Or do we let them run their course?

Because breaking up hurts. We don't know what's going to come up..

It can be a natural instinct to avoid feeling bad. Our brains are wired to protect us from pain. When we experience pain, our bodies release chemicals into our bloodstream that tell our brain to stop doing whatever it was doing before.

This means that when we experience pain, we shut off parts of our brain that allow us to think clearly, concentrate, remember things, and function normally. So when we experience pain, it's normal for us to feel overwhelmed, confused, and unable to cope. This is not the time to judge yourself but a time to be kind to yourself instead.

Photo: Toa Heftiba

However, when we're able to express our emotions and PROCESS them, we're less likely to act impulsively or react negatively to situations in an unhealthy way (rebound, not taking care of ourselves like resorting to substance abuse, overeating, not eating at all, etc).

And when we're able to regulate our emotions, we're more resilient and flexible. This means that we're better prepared to handle any situation that arises. That's why I believe that learning how to tap into managing our emotional health and the nervous system through a mind body technique like EFT is one of the best ways to improve our overall wellbeing.

EFT tapping is a powerful tool that allows us to access our subconscious mind and release negative beliefs and emotions that keep us stuck. Yes, it might look funny at first, but by tapping on certain points on our bodies, we can clear away old emotional patterns.

We can release the emotional charge of certain memories so they stop hurting, and create new neural pathways that are more empowering. And we can think back on the relationship without it triggering or hurting us anymore.

How Can EFT Tapping Help to Process a Breakup?

Photo: Zhivko Minkov

EFT tapping works by helping us to access the energy of our emotions, articulate them, and lessen the emotional charge.

By tapping on acupuncture points on the body, we can bring ourselves back to a place of groundedness, calmness, and clarity. And this is how we heal.


"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together" — Marilyn Monroe

Processing and healing by tapping on points allows us to tap into the energy of our emotions, releasing them and allowing us to move forward.

If we're experiencing strong negative emotions such as fear, guilt, shame, embarrassment, loneliness, anxiety, or depression, tapping on those points can help us to let go of those these emotions on a case by case basis.

It's important to point out that if we're experiencing positive emotions like joy, love, gratitude, hope, peace, and happiness, tapping on those points will help us to hold onto those emotions and not clear them as well.

How to Heal With EFT Tapping For Your Breakup

Photo: Amy Treasure

To regain your sense of both peace and empowerment, it's helpful to keep track of your feelings and healing journey by journaling.

You can find videos on YouTube that can be helpful if you suddenly need one for whatever comes up.

Still, working with a practitioner to get through these feelings and phases the most effectively as they might be tied as well to things in your childhood.

For example, if one of your parent's rejected you, a similar feeling will feel worse during a breakup because you can relate it to the wounds from childhood you have. If you are interested in working with me through your breakup, you can schedule a consultation for a 6 week EFT program here.

However, you might not be working with anyone so it's good to at least have some steps you can take to ground yourself when overwhelmed, sad. Or when you have to go to work but you cannot seem to pull yourself together.

It doesn't MASK the feelings, it helps you process what comes up quickly and in a targeted way. Please note that other emotions sometimes come up during tapping that you might not have dealt with, so make space for yourself to do this.

I created a course a few years back and I'm offering the first video in the course for only 7 EUR (around 7.50 USD). I created it while I was actually going through a breakup so it's about as authentic as you can get. The rest of the course has continued breakup topics for healing, recorded group tapping sessions with other people going through breakups and live feedback. I look forward to hearing if it helps you and what your feedback is as I'm creating the course.


If you're going through a rough patch remember that you can come out on the other side stronger, peaceful, and better than ever. I can't tell you how incredibly healing the last few years have been for me as I realized that breakup was the best thing that could happen to me. Thanks to tapping, I have no emotionally charged memories of some pretty hurtful

I have a video with some very wise words in it it's from a skit called MADEA: Remember, if someone wants to walk out of your life, let them go....

ANDREA HUNT - Online Transformational Life Coach & EFT Tapping Practitioner based in Munich, Germany

I'm an accredited transformational life coach from Animas Centre for Coaching UK  and a member of the International Coaching Federation. I'm also a Level 2 practitioner in EFT Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique) and a member of AEFTP (Association of Emotional Freedom Technique Professionals).

If you're not sure where to start transforming your life, you can download my free ebook on How to Start Your Personal Growth Journey.

Are you ready to change your life, let go of old beliefs, empower yourself for a mindset shift to move forward? Mark Batterson says: You're always one decision away from a totally different life.

If you're interested in booking a free 15 minute discovery call for transformational life coaching, EFT Tapping or checking out my services page click here.

HEADER IMAGE : Kelly Sikkema

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