Why Change Feels Scary - How to Let Go with EFT Tapping and Autumn’s Wisdom

Why Change Feels Scary - How to Let Go with EFT Tapping and Autumn’s Wisdom

I’ve done a lot of things in my life but the difference is that now I do it because I welcome change and I push myself outside my comfort zone instead of my comfort zone pushing me. I’ve moved to Mexico alone.  I moved to China alone. But you know what? I didn’t move to Mexico because I was feeling adventurous or fearless. I moved because I was miserable in Minnesota in high school.

Nothing about my situation felt okay. My family had fallen apart, high school was a nightmare, and I didn’t see any future for myself unless I physically left and went out to see the world. It wasn’t about “timing” or “being ready”  I was desperate to breathe. Instead of clinging onto a painful, uninspiring, unfulfilling life, I decided to leave and go find something else. Autumn is a time to remind ourselves that we can change things and that everything has a season.

"There is something so special in the early leaves drifting from the trees – as if we are all to be allowed a chance to peel, to refresh, to start again" — Ruth Ahmed.

The only person who really believed in me back then was my basketball coach. He was my mentor, the one adult who told me, “If you need to leave, go. Don’t wait for permission.” That single piece of encouragement planted a seed I held onto. Without it, I might have stayed stuck for years.

When I finally decided to leave, it scared the shit out of me. I didn’t have all the answers. I didn’t feel “ready.” But staying where I was felt even scarier. Moving to Mexico became the first time in my life that I chose myself.  And it turned out to be the best thing I’ve ever done.

That’s why I’m so passionate about this topic. So many of us wait until life hits us hard before we allow ourselves to change. We stay in jobs that are slowly draining us. We keep people-pleasing until we’re burned out. We hide our ideas because visibility feels terrifying. And then we tell ourselves we’ll make a move “later”  when we’re ready, when things are less chaotic, when we’ve got everything figured out.

But what usually happens? We don’t move. We tolerate. We wait. Until the pain of staying the same finally outweighs the fear of doing something different.

The real question is: do we actually have to wait until we’re at rock bottom to change? The answer is no.

Why We Resist Change (Even When We Know We Need It)

If you’ve ever wondered why you keep putting up with something that feels crushing, you’re not alone. Change is uncomfortable because the brain equates safety with familiarity. Even when a situation is painful, at least it is predictable. The job you hate still gives you a routine. The habit of overextending yourself may drain you, but it is a pattern you know. Avoiding visibility might frustrate you, but it feels less risky than putting yourself out there.

The brain clings to what it knows because predictability feels safer than possibility. That is why we hesitate, procrastinate, and stay stuck even when we want more.

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"Often, we know very well that doing something in a situation would be the best for us long term, but we simply cannot mobilise ourselves to do it.  One of the troubles in life is that we cannot always rely on our motivation, or our feelings in general, to give us the prompt we may need to make positive changes in our lives.  Sometimes we have to commit to make them anyway! Needless to say- that is a lot harder. As a Psychologists these are questions you are often presented with from clients who have sought you out because they really do wish to change….

‘why do things never change for me’

 ‘why is this relationship still not living up to my expectations’

‘this job is still not filling my needs – only everyone else keeps getting promoted’

‘why do I continue to lose when I gamble- surely at some point the luck should turn’

‘I cannot believe I have not seen any results even if I keep going on diets’   " -- Tony Robbins.

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So even if your situation is miserable, at least it’s familiar. The shitty job? You know what Monday looks like. The habit of overextending yourself? You’ve rehearsed it for years. Staying invisible? At least it’s familiar, even if it’s suffocating you. Familiar feels safer than unknown even when the unknown might be better.

That’s why your brain spins out with “what ifs”:
What if I quit and fail? What if I say no and everyone’s angry? What if I put myself out there and people laugh?

So you procrastinate. You minimize your pain. You freeze. Meanwhile, your nervous system fires up in fight, flight, or freeze. Some of us push harder. Some of us run from opportunities. Some of us get stuck in endless hesitation, scrolling and distracting ourselves. Change isn’t scary because you’re weak. It’s scary because your brain and body have confused predictability with safety — even when that predictability is slowly crushing you.

The Two Weights of Change

Tony Robbins has a concept that perfectly captures this dilemma: the two pains of change. On one side, there is the pain of staying the same. On the other, the pain of transforming.

The pain of staying the same shows up as stagnation, burnout, regret, and a loss of confidence in yourself. Every year that passes without change deepens the sense that you’re stuck, that maybe you’ll never break free.

The pain of transforming, however, shows up as discomfort, vulnerability, and the unease of stepping into the unknown. It’s the fear of failing, the awkwardness of being visible when you’ve spent years hiding, the rawness of trying something new without guarantees.

Most people only move forward when the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of change. That’s why we so often hear stories of people leaving their jobs only after they burn out, ending relationships only after betrayal, or finally making bold moves after a health scare or major life event.

The danger in waiting until the pain tips the scale is that it costs us years of energy, creativity, and self-trust. Each season we postpone what we know we’re meant to do, we erode a little more of our confidence. But the truth is, change doesn’t have to wait until misery forces our hand. We can choose to shift before the collapse.

What Actually Triggers Change

When you look at people’s stories of transformation, certain patterns emerge. Change usually comes in response to a trigger:

- A crisis, like burnout, a breakup, or losing a job.

- An identity clash, where the thought “I can’t live like this anymore” becomes impossible to ignore.

- An external push, such as feedback, deadlines, or responsibilities to others.

- A glimpse of possibility, when you see someone living the way you wish you could.

- Support, whether from a mentor, coach, or community that helps you bridge fear and action.

In my case, moving to Mexico was sparked by identity clash. I reached the point where I could no longer reconcile the life I was living with the life I knew I wanted. It wasn’t bravery that carried me forward; it was the recognition that staying where I was would mean abandoning myself. And that was a cost I couldn’t accept anymore.

The truth is, change rarely comes because the timing is perfect. It comes when the vision of your future starts to matter more than the fear of what could go wrong.

The AUTUMN Method: A Framework for Change

Autumn offers us a beautiful metaphor for transformation. Trees don’t resist the changing season. They don’t cling to leaves that are ready to fall. They let go, making space for renewal.

This is the rhythm I teach my clients through what I call the AUTUMN Method:

It begins with Awareness. You cannot change what you refuse to see. Most of us move through our days on autopilot, recycling the same thoughts and patterns without realizing it. The excuses — I’ll do it later, I’m not ready yet, it’s not the right time — become so familiar that they feel like facts. Awareness is the moment you pause and notice what is actually happening. It is the crack in the cycle, the first sign that you are no longer asleep at the wheel.

Then comes Understanding. Awareness shows you the pattern; understanding shows you why you are running it. Beneath every excuse is a fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of failure. Fear of judgment. Sometimes it is even fear of success, because success would mean being seen in a new way. When you name the fear, it starts to loosen its grip. Suddenly it is not this vague, overwhelming dread; it is something specific you can work with.

Next is Tension. This is the uncomfortable pull between the safety of the familiar and the longing for something more. Most people assume that feeling torn means they are failing. It doesn’t. Tension is a sign that you are waking up. It is the friction that comes when your old life no longer fits, but your new one hasn’t fully taken shape yet. Instead of seeing tension as a problem, I encourage my clients to treat it as proof that growth is happening.

From there, we move into Unlearning. If you want change, you cannot carry the same old stories with you. Stories like “I’m not ready,” “I’m not enough,” or “I have to have it all figured out first” are not truths; they are beliefs you absorbed along the way. They may have kept you safe once, but they are not serving you now. Unlearning is the process of loosening your grip on those old narratives so you can write new ones.

Once you create space through unlearning, you can build Mindset and Motivation. This is not about pretending everything is perfect or forcing yourself to be positive. It is about choosing thoughts and practices that help you feel steady and resilient as you grow. Confidence is not built in one giant leap; it is built in small, consistent shifts. Every time you show up differently, you prove to yourself that you can. Over time, those small wins stack into lasting change.

Finally, there is the Nervous System Reset. This is the piece most people skip. You can have awareness, understanding, and even a strong mindset; but if your nervous system still believes change is dangerous, you will sabotage yourself. This is where EFT Tapping becomes so powerful. It helps calm the body’s stress response so your system can relax. At the same time, it rewires the beliefs in your mind so change starts to feel safe. When your body and brain are on the same team, change stops being a fight and starts to feel possible.

Like autumn itself, this process isn’t about forcing transformation. It’s about allowing what no longer serves you to fall away so you can create space for what’s next.

Why EFT Tapping Makes Change Possible & Sustainable

Most of us have been conditioned to believe that change is simply a matter of willpower. Push harder. Hustle more. Discipline yourself into transformation.

But willpower collapses when your nervous system is in survival mode. If your body believes that change equals danger, no amount of motivational hacks will stick. That’s why so many people find themselves procrastinating, sabotaging their own progress, or cycling through bursts of action followed by long stretches of avoidance.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) works differently. By combining acupressure tapping with focused reframes, EFT addresses both the body and the mind. On a physical level, it calms the stress response, allowing your body to exit fight, flight, or freeze. On a cognitive level, it rewires limiting beliefs, leveraging the brain’s neuroplasticity to create new, empowering pathways.

This makes EFT particularly powerful for people who struggle with procrastination, perfectionism, or fear of visibility. Instead of forcing yourself forward while your nervous system screams “danger,” EFT helps you create a sense of safety so that growth feels natural and sustainable.

Choosing Change Before Rock Bottom

Autumn is nature’s reminder that change is part of life. The leaves don’t cling to the branches. They release, trusting that what follows will bring renewal. You don’t have to wait until you’re burned out, heartbroken, or stuck at the edge of collapse. You can choose to let go now. You can choose to shift before the weight of staying the same becomes unbearable. This season, I’m inviting you to use autumn as your turning point with a seasonal special. Release what no longer serves you and step into the future you’ve been postponing.

🍂 End-of-Summer Reset Special: 5 sessions for €499 COUPON CODE: #ENDOFSUMMER
🍂 Coming in October: 3 sessions for €299 #AUTUMN

If you’re ready to stop waiting for misery to force your hand, book a call with me today. Or send me a DM with the word RESET and I’ll send you the details.

Change doesn’t begin at rock bottom. It begins the moment you decide your vision is worth more than your fear.

About Andrea Hunt:

I’m an EFT Tapping Empowerment Coach and I help ambitious professional women reach their goals faster by breaking free from fear, self-doubt, and impostor syndrome so they can build confidence like a muscle—one bold step at a time—and finally step outside their comfort zone to create the life they know they deserve.
Curious about EFT Tapping? Download my FREE EFT book and discover how tapping can enhance emotional resilience, improve mindset, and reduce perfectionism and negative self-talk.

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